It's been a crazy few months since I last posted. Seems like so much has been happening this blog kind of ... disintegrated while i fell in love, flipped out and dealt with the usual daily trials at home.
I've been dying to blog about it for a while. So i thought i'd give it a bash
J broke up with me a few months ago. i can't believe time has passed so quickly but I guess this is the nature of time. Maybe not a good sign in terms of broken heart recovery because it still feels pretty fresh in my psyche. doesn't help that we have a blossoming friendship based on comfort. Ugh.
The past few months have been spent in quiet reflection of the monstrous fuck up that was our relationship. Very Wise Friend says i shouldnt be spending time with someone who brings me down.. makes me wonder but unfortunately thats the extent of it for now. I'll just wonder for a few more months.
Getting a bit tired of wondering whats wrong with him. A good sign i think. I should have known he was an arsehole when he kicked my dog. yeah you read right - he kicked my dog! (Non debateable criteria for Next Boy: will love my sausages )
Am enjoying being single more than I thought I would/could. It's been strange - single for the first time ... well ever really. Well there was that year at the end of varsity but thats all a bit hazy - does it count as quality single time if you can't remember much of it? I am absolutely loving the freedom of going out and doing what I want WITHOUT APPROVAL. Not half as scary as I envisioned - minus the fear of parallel parking. It seems if I am going to be single for much longer I am going to need to know how to get my car into a parallel spot by myself. I mean really it's ridiculous that I can't.
On the home front things are pretty much the same. Well... Youngest brother has turned 13 and boy is it apparent that puberty is rearing its ugly head in the house. For a while it was tantrums and screaming, the door slamming comes a bit later in the whole equation if I remember correctly? His all-consuming obsession with computer games is somewhat sad to watch. Shouldn't he be playing outside in the sunshine or riding bikes?
My mother has given up on treatment. It's a never ending battle that seems to have been going on for as long as we can remember. Her last round of radiation made her violently ill - scarily so. She started the whole "quality of life" line of thinking again. so now mum is sans evil cancer treatment. She's just pretty tired all the time. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away. Wish someone would wave something and make it go away. All these amazing brains on earth and no-ones figured this out? Come on people!
My insomnia has graciously returned while I am completely stressing out about work. Maybe because I have lost 2 whole working days this week to hangover ... am feeling insanely guilt ridden about laziness this week and as a result have vowed to actually spend tomorow (a sunny saturday) indoors chained to my computer.
Will make the beer taste better, and sunday's hangover feel a little more deserved.
hah well not too bad for the first post in ages.. there's loads more but *sigh* guess i will save it for another contemplative/whiny/self indulgent/pensive moment.
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