You would cry too if it happened to you

I've been feeling vey strange of late. Hyper emotional.. which is so unlike me! Usually cool, calm and collected it usually takes an army to anger me. This blind rage started with the "Emma Incident". Shame poor idiot i suppose it's all referred anger that is getting conveniently placed upon her. So many things that should have made me angry throughout my life haven't managed to generate the appropriate amount of GRRRr. I guess I am making up for it now! I still hyperventilate when i think about what Emma has done. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr!

My usually peace loving self is in hiding and there's this monster masquerading around in my body. Suppose it doesn't help that we have a teenager in residence who is going out of his way to be as infuriating as possible!

I am dying for some escape... Longing for the days when I lived on my own and could enjoy as much peace and quiet as I could stomach. *sigh* Or at least the days where I could escape with boy into a different world for a while.

So for now I am teary mess. I miss the boy. *sigh*. I miss the boy so much it hurts. Strange i was moving forward quite nicely for a while. Had some fun, distracted myself. But now I am bored. It's not the end of the world anymore. I don't have the feeling that i will never be ok.

I just miss that arsehole. I miss the comfort and the understanding. I miss the cuddles, oh boy do i miss those cuddles *sigh*. relationships are just so damned comfortable. Like my happy sheepskin boots. They got better and better the more i wore them.. It's going to take forever to find such a comfortable relationship !

i suppose this "missing the boy" crap is brought on the fact that I am writing about WEDDINGS now ! LOL! Me.. super cynical me! is having to write about fluffy wedding dresses and fairytale weddings. Was trying to figure out why this whole experience was leaving me so rattled.... i mean i always said i didnt want a wedding. couldnt imagine anything worse than being the center of attention like that. Suddenly i am wishing i at least had someone who was asking! And, for the first time in my life wondering what i will look like in one!!!

Anyway this isnt a pity party --- despite the title---. There is some hope in the immediate future.. I have a date. With a Very Cute Boy. I'm dreading it but know that i must push myself out of warm,cosy existence to give mr right a chance to find me :)